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| Wow i didn't even remember I had this site... Oh no now re-reding these
entries, I'm almost embarassed. I had such a one-track mindset... Get
on with it Jude... Hello, you have a life too. Or do you really? Anyway
I prefer Friendster to Xanga... the look and feel's more intimate and
user-friendly... I'm so spoilt.
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| It's been 11 days exactly since I've touched down in Singapore. And on
the whole, these days have been a good mix of excitment, joy, tears,
anxiety etc. Maybe that's putting it slightly more lighthearted than
it's really been. And why not, indeed.
After all today was the day Vince tried to tender his resignation to
church. Horror of horrors! Thank God Lyn had asked me out- spending the
day with her totally took my mind off things. She's such a dear alright
(although I don't share her penchant for Ashton Kucher!). When this
whole thing has blown over, I think I'll like to find a nice little
alcove and semi-retire there for 6 months of the year.
Or to add fuel to this fire fanned by the winds, I could contribute a
twist to this SEAPC saga. Frankly I don't think even Hubert could have
seen this coming, no matter how real. It's so blown out of proportion
that even I feel dwarfed by the size of this hurricane.
Anyway back to my twist, I had this wicked scheme hatched on the train
coming home. The truth is, I'm running out of money right? What if
instead of continueing the rest of my 3 semesters, I stopped right here
and there? Pull out of Sydney (but not before fulfilling my lease
agreement). Leave one of my fixed deposits intact. Return to Singapore
to get some job. Prepare my wedding next June and to join Vince after
that...
If only stories end up like that. Truth is, my history already has so
many specks and false starts and unfinished ends- it looks more like
the back of an embroidery than a beautiful tapestry. If I was to give
up uni midway, it would just so totally embarass heaps of people. The
idea of giving up a good education! And the opportunity to live
overseas! I'll be mad to throw it off... So it's just a fancy idea
that's going to start and end here. Vince would never agree to it.
And so it was that our heroine went back to her former life on the 14th
July. Back to her station in Sydney as she knew it. The blessed, vacant
and waiting life that she was to lead for the next 3 quarts. And she'll
never remember that she once thought of breaking free. Que sera sera,
what will be will be.
Selah.
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| This was what I wrote in the library two days ago while working on my
last assignment for the semester. Vince had just left for Singapore and
I was rather morose, picking at the thoughts of him. As if that would
draw me closer to him.
It's strange how I can see myself
growing older next to Vincent. In my mind's eye we have been married
for some time and I, as only I can be, am the faithful and loyal
partner. Always acquiescing, supportive and never once leaving my post.
This role to me comes naturally to me and I ask myself, "What, has the
path for my life already been sealed without my knowledge?"
And you. I have no idea who you will
be in my life. Will you let me wilt and age, my aspirations to die with
little fanfare until I am no more than a greying housewife? Or will I
see better days for myself, my individual ideas and aspirations to find
wings and take flight under your guide? This, I can't wait to find out.
For now I just wait for the days to run out its course. Until we see each other again.
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| Today just felt like a really good day. I woke up late as usual, did my
quiet time and picked up a latte from Campos. They always put on jazz
in Campos and maybe that was what got to me while waiting for my latte.
Nearly ten minutes of sitting by the counter next to the window, that
must have put me in a righto romantic mood. Watching the "coffee
specialists" bustling about with customers' orders. Mind you these guys
are professionals, they work with more than 10 types of coffee beans-
each coffee can only be made with a specific type of coffee bean, which
are nearly always freshly ground on the day itself. Such a contrast
from the pseudo- baristas you get in Spinelli's in Singapore. Campos is
the real thing alright...
Which set me thinking, I might just buy a bag of beans from Campos for
my trip home. Just to remind me of my countless coffee
experiences, which have never been less than entertaining and at times
thought-provoking.
Even as I'm writing now, I'm waiting for my rice cooker to display the
"Keep Warm" sign. Erica's showing her wedding album at Gerald's cell
and so I've graciously acquiescied to supply some rice for hoard of
rice-chomping fellas there. No, the truth's that James' running low on
rice. So that's going to be my contribution to my former cell group...
I'm also going to Natalie's lunch party today on Cleveland St. Not sure
if Ruampol will come along. I've been teasing Nat non-stop about the
French mingling along among their own types; a hold-over from my era
with Scott and his nit-picking at the Frenchs' habits.
There's going to be a couple of Asians there too, so my presumptions
are to be proved wrong. Pity though, cuz I wouldn't mind having a good
French pastry, fish or wine.
Bon apetit!
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| You're not online today
And so I count the hours, minutes missing you..
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